The Vampire and his Servant
________________________________________
As I fall on the withered ground,
I stare up at the darkening sky,
Tears pouring from my pleading eyes.
I want to be free from this hell
Light footsteps sound, stepping toward me.
I turn my head, slowly, the fear sending chills down my spine
Making my heart cold.
He walks towards me, his graceful legs carrying him closer.
His long black hair whips against his pale face
As a sudden wind makes contact with his slender body
As he reaches me, he kneels down in front of my crumbled body.
I flinch visibly and turn my head away,
trying not to meet his piercing, tormenting gaze
He reaches a slender hand towards my face and brushes the hair from my eyes.
He asks me what I am doing out this late at night.
I keep my eyes averted and am silent.
A smile plays on his perfect, beautiful lips and he leans toward me.
I close my eyes and shudder as I feel his lips brush against my neck, gently
I can feel his cold breath on my shaking skin.
I swallow as the ground parts from my body,
As he lifts me into his arms.
I try to pull away, But he grips me tightly
His voice, that sounds of an angels,
Speaks to me, softly
Why do you run from me?
I hear him ask, my head against his cold chest.
There is a chilling wind that blows past us, whipping his hair around me.
I shiver and he holds me tighter.
He puts me gently on the ground and wipes the remaining tears from my face.
He smiles his angels smile and puts his hand across my face.
I am frozen in a mix of emotions.
Wanting to run
Wanting to hide from this creature that holds me so gently in his arms
Yet
I dont
I want to stay with him
I want him to keep holding me in his cold arms
I am a slave to this vampire
I am a slave to this man that most humans call a monster.
Yes
I am a slave to this vampire















Comments
Well, guess you just did it!!
really good poem. love it.
--
We Love You, Michael Jackson... You Are Not Alone... RIP...
I am a photographer. Come and check out some of my pictures [link]).
--
"Did you dream?"
No
"Tell me a dream?"
I rarely dream
"You're broke."
Quote from an awesome comic by Fehed Said & Shari Chankhamma called 'The Clarence Principle'! Vist their website link
--
We Love You, Michael Jackson... You Are Not Alone... RIP...
I am a photographer. Come and check out some of my pictures [link]).
Did the vampire turn him in the end or just leave him? I was not sure.
--
"Did you dream?"
No
"Tell me a dream?"
I rarely dream
"You're broke."
Quote from an awesome comic by Fehed Said & Shari Chankhamma called 'The Clarence Principle'! Vist their website link
--
We Love You, Michael Jackson... You Are Not Alone... RIP...
I am a photographer. Come and check out some of my pictures [link]).
This is, I think, very good work. You were obviously out to tell a story, and you accomplished your goal easily. You used a lot of great detail throughout this piece, breathing vivid color and life into your setting and characters. You also kept solid point of view from the, "Servent" character, traditional in vampire literature, but well done here none-the-less. Finally, as you've stated this is going to be part of a series, you did a great job of leaving the reader on a sort of cliffhanger, a great lead into part two.
The only advice I would give is that if you were trying to come across that the Servant is also male, there isn't any indication in this piece that both characters are male.
All in all, great work, thanks for pointing me to it! Keep your eyes open for some critique on the rest of the series!
I'm very glad you liked them so much, and I will think about what you said as I continue to write them. ^_^
Thank you very much! XD
--
We Love You, Michael Jackson... You Are Not Alone... RIP...
I am a photographer. Come and check out some of my pictures [link]).
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